Are You Still Watching?
I wanted to capture something familiar to many of us lately: long evenings of streaming TV at home with housemates, partners and/or kids during various lockdowns.
And in order to keep the word count right down, I decided to make the entire story dialogue only. At under 300 words long, it’s a light and fun story that’ll only take a minute or so to read. I’ve colour-coded it for ease of reading.
For the non-Kiwis in the audience, some te reo Māori translations:
- auē = heck / what / no way.
- taihoa = wait / not yet.
- āe = yes / OK.
I sent this out last month to the fine people on my mailing list (you can join here too if you like). But for everyone else, this short story kicks off my bookish advent calendar! See the blog post here, or if you’d prefer to read, like, or share via the socials, you can find it on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
Are You Still Watching?
G. B. Ralph, December 2021
‘“Are you still watching?”’
‘Auē.’
‘How rude.’
‘The audacity.’
‘Where’s the remote?’
‘I don’t know. You had it, didn’t you?’
‘Not since… I don’t remember when.’
‘I need to pee anyway. So, taihoa.’
‘Yeah, OK. Hurry up.’
‘Do you reckon she’s the killer, then?’
‘What?’
‘The wife. Do you think she’ll confess?’
‘Don’t shout at me while you’re on the toilet.’
‘Finished.’
‘Yes, well done you. Grab the ice cream while you’re up, will you?’
‘You get it. I just sat back down.’
‘You weren’t sitting down a second ago when I asked.’
‘Fine… Have you found that remote yet?’
‘No, not yet.’
‘Mint chocolate chip or hokey pokey?’
‘Surprise me.’
‘I’ll give you a surprise, all right…’
‘Just—’
‘Yes, yes. Chill.’
‘My money’s on the brother-in-law.’
‘Nah. He’s way too dumb.’
‘I’m sure I could find a use for him.’
‘I’m sure you – oh, here’s the remote.’
‘What? Where?’
‘On the bench. I must’ve taken it for a walk last time.’
‘Ah! So it’s your fault. Do you confess?’
‘To fetching all the snacks? All the time?’
‘Oh, here we go—’
‘Yes, I confess.’
‘Just… chop chop, will you?’
‘Here you are, your majesty.’
‘What is this?’
‘Mint chocolate hokey pokey chip.’
‘Why would… You’re taking the—’
‘You wanted a surprise.’
‘Mm. It’s actually not bad.’
‘You keep telling yourself that. I’ll enjoy my hokey pokey over here, without the toothpaste aftertaste.’
‘Come on, let’s see if the brother-in-law did it.’
‘He’s just the bad boy eye candy, there to distract you.’
‘And he is doing an excellent job.’
‘Calm yourself and eat your ice cream.’
‘It’s really not the worst.’
‘Sure it isn’t. “Continue watching”?’
‘Āe, of course. What else are we going to do?’
Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this, please consider signing up to my mailing list for more short stories, and so you don’t miss any future updates.
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If you didn’t enjoy this, perhaps you’d prefer one of my other short stories… No? Worth a shot.
G. B. Ralph 